Guilt & Fear

I thought I wouldn't have an entry today cos nothing out of the ordinary happened... Until NOW!

Went to take a shower and saw this lizard scurrying across the door. ACK!!!
If there are 2 things I despise most, they are lizards being 500m anywhere me near and FLYING ROACHES.

So, after this sticky fella left the bathroom, I used all my strength to slam the door shut, just to make sure it wouldn't come back. And he never will.

After my cool shower, I opened the door and the little fella got peeled off the frame of the door.
It lied there emotionless, with guts spewing out of its mouth. OH GOD!!! T_T

OH, the ANGUISH and GUILT for not being more careful - Yes, I know it's crazy to feel that way, but I can't help it.
I never knew I would feel so bad for actually killing a lizard, especially when I always said that I wish they were gone from my home. And now that I've seen one literally breathing its few last breaths, I wish I could turn back time.

Turning Back Time
Don't we all just sometimes wish we were like the people in the movies, where we are the keeper of time and have the opportunity to revisit a particular time or situation to fix or experience alternative outcomes depending on the kinds of decisions we made.

The truth is, how our time is spent on this Earth is entirely dependant on how we wish to use it.

A lot of us aren't where we would like to be in life (rich, achieving goals, etc.) simply because we let FEAR overwhelm us.

We allow the people closest to us to instill that seed of DOUBT in our minds as they say things like,

• "You don't know what you're getting yourself into. Why didn't you ask me first?", 
• "It'll never work, I've seen how these things survive a short lifespan before", 
• "You're not suited for this kinda thing, don't waste your time",
• "It's a scam, get out of it while you can". 
• "Why are you doing this? If you need money, just tell us".

Sadly, most of these came from my own parents.

Sure, they where just doing their job of trying to protect me from everything out there that could deceive and harm me because I'll always be their little girl.

But the one thing disappointed me was that they had no faith in me.

They just couldn't believe that I made a decision that was out of the norm, it was risky and above all, it was a NEW CONCEPT. They opposed, but I stayed on.

So glad I did. My life has never been the same. Am also truly excited about my future!

These days, I still procrastinate out of fear (which is entirely illogical) but I'm more conscious of the fact now and I always try to snap out of it as quickly as I can. There's never a minute to waste especially when it concerns your life!

Fear is an option. Danger is real.

Which would you choose:

A) Be on your deathbed smiling because you've done all you can and achieved everything you've ever wanted to with the time given by God?

OR

b) Be a "If only..." patient who is swept under a sea of regrets because you didn't dare take that risk to move forward, to be different; to conquer your own created fears.

We don't only live once.
We LIVE EVERY SINGLE DAY. Make it count.